Recipes

Process

1. Cook bacon in the frying pan.
2. Mix all ingredients together.

Process

1. Open the kidney and lima beans. Pour into a strainer in the sink. Rinse and let drain.
2. Using kitchen scissors that no one is allowed to use for anything but food, cut half the bacon into rough squares over the frying pan so the pieces drop right in. Fry until the bacon starts to brown.
3. While the first round of bacon sizzles, peel and dice the onion. Fill the 1-cup measuring cup.
4. Move the first batch of bacon from the pan to a paper-towel-lined plate so the grease absorbs.
5. Pour the leftover grease into an empty bean can.
6. Repeat the cutting and browning for the second batch of bacon.
7. Put the first batch of bacon into the crock pot. Turn the crock pot on — 4 hours, high.
8. Once the second batch of bacon is done, move it to the paper-towel plate.
9. Fry the diced onion in the remaining bacon grease. When the onion is translucent and lightly browned, add the rest of the bacon and the onion into the crock pot. Try not to add all the bacon grease — pour what's left into the bean can. Save the paper towels.
10. Brown the ground beef in the frying pan.
11. Pour the drained beans from the strainer and the two cans of pork and beans (with sauce) into the crock pot.
12. Add: 1 cup ketchup, ¼ cup brown sugar, 1 tsp salt, 1 cup molasses (wait for it), 1 tbsp liquid smoke, 3 tbsp apple cider vinegar.
13. Add the browned ground beef. Try not to add more beef grease than necessary. Pour the remainder into the bean can. Once it's not "skin-meltingly hot," stuff the used paper towels into the can and toss.

Process

1. Fill the pot with water and make sure it engulfs the eggs.
2. Fill the bowl with water and add ice (enough to engulf the eggs).
3. Bring water to a boil.
4. Once at a boil, add eggs for exactly 8 minutes 40 seconds.
5. Remove eggs and move to ice bath for 3 minutes.
6. Remove and crack — the shells should come off easily.

Process

1. Rinse all the beans.
2. Cut onions and peppers to similar size as beans.
3. Mix seasonings together.
4. Layer in a large bowl with airtight lid — onions on bottom, green and wax beans on top.
5. Pour the seasoning over the top.
6. Seal the lid tightly and refrigerate.
7. Let sit for ~36 hours. Mix layers about 8–12 hours before serving.
8. Immediately before serving, drain about half the seasoning and mix the layers.

Process

1. If the potatoes are large, cut them in half.
2. Cook potatoes in boiling water until tender, about 30 minutes. Test with a fork.
3. Drain and let cool.
4. Peel skin.
5. Mash/whip potatoes in a bowl.
6. Stir in all other ingredients. Add more brandy to taste.
7. Pour into pan and bake at 350° for 30 minutes.

Process

1. Follow directions on the stuffing bag.
2. Sauté onions and celery in butter until translucent. Remove from pan.
3. Cook sausage in the same pan, breaking it up as it cooks. Drain on paper towels.
4. Combine stuffing mix, celery, onions, and sausage in a large bowl.
5. Add broth to moisten.
6. Add Worcestershire sauce to taste.
7. Wrap in aluminum foil and bake per stuffing bag directions.

1 package of stuffing is enough for a 16 lb turkey.

Process

1. Add ice, vodka, and schnapps to a cocktail shaker.
2. Shake well.
3. Strain into a martini glass.
4. Top with tonic water or club soda.
5. Garnish with a candy cane.

The candy cane — a versatile candy if there ever was one. This is its highest calling, strictly between us grown-ups.

Process

1. Half-fill a large pitcher with ice.
2. Add gin, lemon juice, and Cointreau. Stir to combine.
3. Divide the mixture evenly among 12 champagne flutes.
4. Top each flute with champagne.
5. Garnish with a twist of lemon peel.

Serves 12.

Process

1. Combine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker over ice.
2. Shake well.
3. Decant into a large snifter partly filled with fresh ice.

Also served at lunch and dinner with Myers's rum, Bacardi 151, orange juice, and sour mix — poured into a fresh-cut whole pineapple. Appropriate at both meals. No further questions.

Process

1. Combine the spirits in a shaker with ice and shake.
2. Pour into a glass with ice; top with apple cider to taste.